Inspiration and Sharing Laughter

 

Inspiration

     These last few weeks, I have been inspired by two wonderful women. Both of them are amazing writers, are incredibly creative, and pose very interesting and inspiring questions and ideas. Some are simple. Just questions. Some, stories and expressions of emotion.
       I haven't really thought much of blogging before. I started one, but I had this concept that I had to solely talk about my children's activities, what I baked, sewed, ate, and where I went. With the  pictures to prove it of course.

 I read blogs now and again, but I always felt...invasive? Is that the right word? 

      Obviously these people put these posts on the internet so people can read them. However, if I am not close to them, or don't know them I feel like some kind of peeping tom or-what-have-you. Don't get me started on actually commenting on the posts. I have recently though felt comfortable doing so. I wonder why? I know how odd I am, but still I am how I am, might as well accept it right?

       Anyway, I read one blog because it was advertised on facebook. I felt that it was alright to read it at that point. Right? Anyway, but I found myself thinking of the little post throughout the next few days, so then I tracked down the other blog. And all of these questions are popping into my head. What does inspire me? What does keep me busy? And the other one: Could I get up that early? Do I feel that deeply and that strongly or that passionately to be so dedicated? 

Things to think on. Things to write about. Things to....blog about?

Could it be?

So here I am, the name for the blog, the conscious demiurge, is inspired by the figure of the Demiurge (obviously haha), a Greek creator of the world. It was thought to be unconscious of it's circumstances having been born essentially in a vault. In some theologies it's benevolent and omnipotent, and in others it's evil. The stories vary by theology. It could do nothing but be what it was, an artisan, a creator, immortal -  but material in nature -ultimately a slave to it's circumstances. 

My definition of 'creative' changed when someone once told me long ago that all life had creativity that nothing else (like technology for example) has been able to mimic -as even with the smallest amoeba we can't predict it's next movement. He told me that everything is creative energy from the smallest movement to the grandest painting and that all our choices lie within our creativity. I sat there looking at the movement of my hand for the rest of the afternoon. Everyone had always made creativity out to be such a huge involved mess -taken all the fun out of it for pride or competition or whatever. It should be a way of life, even if it's simple. It's just energy.

I always thought that was a beautiful idea. Thus, whether our theology makes us good or evil, whatever we choose to do with our creativity -and even outside the moral realms just in the movements we make or the thoughts we grasp- we are intensely inherent unconscious creative beings as the demiurge who just need to harness it to make something great and become more conscious.

And that is why I appreciated those little blogs.

They really do reach out don't they?

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Sharing Laughter

      Micheal is off with friends and  I'm feeling good about being alone, just sitting here with the dog in the dark. I went down to the basement to check that the windows were locked, and I came across an old box from my high school and college days. I sat on the cold floor for an hour and looked through papers and papers and scripts and awards (some merited, some not).I found this little poem I once loved but had forgotten. I thought it fit the mood tonight.

Just read one side (alone) then the other (together)

Then read them across (Alone/Together)

 Alone/Together

 Smiling into crowds           ::      looking straight ahead

alone                       ::           we walk together

glancing left and right   ::   sharing laughter

at anyone     ::    today

in all the gathering       ::             we are alone together

each one is one          ::         we hold ourselves apart

in any crowd          ::          we stand alone

we are pebbles washed             ::             seperately

on a fringe of the ocean                                  

-Lynette M. Arden

I love the structure, the duality and the simplicity.

I am mercurial. I need to be with people, but then I need solitude in equal measure. I cannot have it any other way. This  seeming war of alone/together, not to mention the realities of it, has always plagued me. So it is a massive drain and waste of energy for me if I catch this in between place of Alone/Together. I have no threshold for it. I am shockingly private, and in some bizarre twist often find small talk invasive but intricate questions enlightening and quaint.

 

 So I agree with the author that nothing in the world, at least to me, is more difficult than that in between for a myriad of reasons. More than I can count. It's always where I get into trouble, get drained and most horribly get bored, and cannot follow as my mind shoots in 6 directions at once.

...or not thinking of myself what do I do to others in this void of horror? Yikes.
Any thoughts?

Who do you share laughter with?